Tomorrow we will see so many guys riding up on biked holding the national flag, their head held high that they are living in a nation which uphold independence. But the irony is that the same guy would have asked his sister/wife to stay back at home. The same guy would have asked his daughter to stay back at home. On one side we feel proud about ourselves for upholding these ideals on the other side we are blind to the Freedom that is snatched from our own sisters, wives and daughters at home. What is more disturbing is that this has never occurred to our minds. Why so? The only thing I can think of as reason is the kind of upbringing we have had. In most of the families, a girl who wants to be independent and live her life on her own terms is always seen as liability. Isn't it strange that, "When a guys wants to do something on his own, people call him independent. But when a girls wants to do something on her own, she is termed Rebellious". We live in such a hypocritic society and everybody seems to blissfully ignorant about the same.
The issue is not just with the guys. Its the same with the girls too. If you are a girl there is a high probability that you have heard these dialogues from some Old lady somewhere some time – “Girls these days have changed, they don’t have any responsibility they don’t know how to cook, they won’t wear sarees, they won’t wear burka, they won’t follow traditions..culture, and they don’t respect elders so on and so forth”. The irony is that the same girl who felt suffocated when her parents thrust so many rules on her, when she goes on to become a woman will, try to thrust the same rules on her daughter. What a pity! Coming from their mothers who are considered as the source of wisdom by many girls, they give in. And hence a girl who was a topper in her class till her degree, all of a sudden turns out into a unrecognized (sorry recognized at home) house-wife, who will cook a good meal and raise her kid. All that her degree was worth is to help her kid to do home work (wow topper in degree to a house-wife doing some daily chores). What a life? or should I say what an irony of life .
Haven't you come across a friend of yours(a girl) who has wants to be independent but gives up her job as it is not a tradition in their families to work after marriage? Haven't you come across a colleague of your who doesn't want to come for a trip as her parents don't agree? Haven't you come across a friend of yours who is always lively and bubbly, but suddenly goes silent because her boy-friend is over possessive? Haven't you come across a friend who has felt ashamed in-front of a crowd because she has got to go to a rest room as she is having her cycles? What do we do in such circumstances? We all maintain our golden silence. We may not be able to do much, but our understanding of their problems and our small reassurances can give them a mountain of hope.
So what can you do as a boy?
1.) If you have a sister at home, make sure that she gets the same treatment that you do.
2.) Never tell her things that can shatter her self-confidence and do your bit so that she gets what she rightfully deserves.
3.) If you have girl-friend or a wife, you can be protective about her. But make sure that it doesn't suffocate her.
4.) When a friend in your gang says or does something that might hurt the modesty of a girl in the team, educate him.
5.) Try to suppress your MALE-EGO which has no logical reason. Stop being a MCP.
What if you are girl
1.) Stand up for yourself and speak out. Remember you can't blame somebody for spoiling your life, if you don't stand up for yourself. But when you stand up you got to take the responsibility for you life. And when you don't speak for yourself, you are doing the greatest harm to yourself.
2.) When you can't stand up for yourself, at-least speak for yourself. When you can't speak for yourself at-least make sure that the person who is doing the injustice to you feels guilty about it.
3.) Whether you are part of a gang of friends or team at office or family at home, try to establish a system where there is reward for good treating girls well and a high cost of treating girls badly.
4.) Nobody wants to be seen as an individual or an organisation that doesn't respect women. This is independent of what they are actually. When somebody treats a girl badly, make sure that the other guys in the team chide him for that. As an individual one may treat girl badly, but in-front of a group nobody want to be seen as MCP. Use this to your advantage.
5.) One of the things that you should be familiar is the MALE-EGO. You should tie the good treatment towards women with this. After all he is no man who cannot respect a woman. Imprint this in the minds of men who are around you in your daily lives. A real man respects a lady, and his lady respects him for that.
(Few of the above may go wrong for girls. So make sure that you have the support of at-least few good men. And I strongly believe there are at-least a few good men irrespective of where you belong)
I have taken up my Independence Day resolution. What about you ?
A society in which a woman is not entitled to have her self respect, shall decay in the course of time; as depriving a woman of her self respect is like disrespecting the very essence of our existence : Motherhood.